Why Older Adults Cruise - Grief Support

It all started with a brave yes. My mom had just lost her husband of 32 years only two weeks prior to the invitation. Her days were filled with the grey haziness of despair that inevitably comes after years of caring for someone who was ill and fighting to savor every day with the woman he loved. My husband, daughter and I were going on a milestone cruise to New Zealand and had an extra cabin for our teenager, so there was an opportunity to add mom to the manifest. Her loss was profound, and I had hoped the offer would come through like a ray of light. Deep in my heart I knew that this was a critical time for her to feel nurtured and get a reprieve from the many things surrounding her that carried so much emotional weight.

She was 78 at the time and had only experienced one cruise, decades earlier, on an ocean liner. She had been sea sick and miserable throughout the whole experience, so we had a long talk about all of the motion sickness options that are available to her as well as the wonderful improvements to stabilization features on ships. I could feel her resistance giving way with the reassurance that she'd be fully supported by her loving family. I believe the turning point was when my daughter got on the phone and said "come on Grammy, we'll have so much fun!" And she did!

The pure wonder that was on my mom's face as we walked around the Circular Quay Wharf in Sydney, Australia lit my soul! It was as though she was walking through a dream and she kept commenting on her disbelief that she was there. Being with her for such an awe-inspired experience was similar to the joy I feel when someone is visiting Hawai'i for the first time and I get to take them around the island. Their exclamations of amazement at the beautiful landscapes and communities here bring the purest sense of satisfaction.

That trip around New Zealand had turned out to be the mental reprieve that my mom needed. I let her know I was writing about this experience and we both hope that somebody reads this at just the right time and can open themselves up to the possibility that this may be the time to try something new. My mom would like to share that "seeing something new is very healthy during your grieving period. Focusing on learning helps, because your mind is in the moment ... taking in important things like culture & beauty." I saw it with my own eyes how focusing on the present moment gave my mom more than a break in her deep despair, it opened her up to all sorts of things she didn't know she'd love to do.

My mom is now 80 and has two cruises behind her and two more cruises coming up this year. She has shared that the details can feel overwhelming, especially logistics in traveling to and from places, managing hotels and transportation. Having me with her has given her extra reassurance that the details are being taken care of. It is this experience with my mom that has shown me how valuable it can be to have a travel companion on that adventure with you if you are feeling that similar sense of overwhelm. Should you find yourself ready to bring in the light and explore the next steps the life has to offer, please know that I'm here and willing to travel alongside you in order to ease the way forward.

Mom's first step on the ship!

Taking in Milford Sound

Mom & I in Amsterdam after Cruise #2